“LOL, why does it feel like everyone’s on Bumble already?” was a question I asked a friend last week while catching up and talking about our current (lack of) love life. We’re no strangers to dating apps; in fact, most of our lunch table discussions back in college were about who we’ve spotted on Tinder and if our recent match turned out to be decent. “It’s because we can’t meet new people IRL, duh,” she told me.
And she’s right. Based on dating apps’ yearend reports, online dating saw an increase last year with so many singles turning to virtual means for their pursuit of love. That means one thing: the competition is now higher than ever, and you’ve got to put in considerable effort to stand out from all these other fishes in the sea, in case your soulmate is using an online dating platform to look for you.
There’s no one-size-fits-all advice when it comes to love and dating, but there are things that do serve as red flags to other online daters. If you want your love life to prosper, you’d want to avoid doing these on an online dating platform.
Being a try-hard tsundere
Okay, we get it, you’re “too good” to be on a dating app or are just trying this out because your friends dared you to. You’re probably sitting on your couch and getting very, very bored while scrolling through all these profiles of people looking for a new flame. At least, that’s the image that your seemingly uninterested disposition on dating apps paints on our mind. And that doesn’t make you cooler in our books. We’re looking for someone who’s open to potentially finding love virtually, not a tsundere wannabe who makes it seem like it’s the worst idea they’ve ever had.
This whole front also reinforces the idea of looking down on dating apps. What’s so wrong with using one? What’s so wrong with making a conscious effort to seek out a new relationship? It’s only shameful if you’re using it as a platform to cheat, but being on dating apps shouldn’t be treated like a taboo at all. Come on, it’s 2021.
Having really few photos
Don’t get us wrong: This isn’t because we’re shallow and centered on looks. For starters, we sometimes rely on photos to avoid being catfished. Having just one or two photos on your profile feels like a disaster just waiting to happen, and we really don’t want to go as far as doing a Google search just to prove that you’re really the person we’re talking to. Trust us, you wouldn’t want the entire squad looking you up on every social media platform possible.
Another thing about photos is that it also helps give us a glimpse of your personality. Since reading body language is next to impossible when chatting with someone on a dating app, your photos are the best visual cues that we’d have access to. It could also be a great conversation starter, saving you from the awkward “hey” or cringey pickup lines.
Posting blurry selfies
… Or bad selfies, in general. When selecting photos for your profile, always remember: Post nice selfies, or don’t post one at all. Look up some selfie tips and try to see which ones work best for you. Perhaps all you need is a new angle or arm position to produce better-looking photos. Or maybe, discard the filters and go for natural lighting.
If that still doesn’t work, maybe it’s time to change your device. With a smartphone like the Oppo Reno 4 which has a 32mp front camera that supports night mode and has a built-in AI beautification option, bad selfies will never be a thing.
Writing a really long bio
For bios, the rule of thumb is to keep it short and sweet. Putting your life story out there for everyone to read takes away a bit of the mystery and thrill of getting to know you naturally through conversations. Also, we don’t think anyone’s going to read a four-paragraph “about me” section unless it’s really, really, really interesting—like, let’s say, finding a unicorn.
Not writing a bio
On the other hand, not writing anything on your bio or “about me” section makes you seem like you just don’t care. And for some people, that’s a great indicator of someone’s potential to ghost them mid-conversation—which earns a hard pass, by the way.
Asking for other contact information too quickly
NGL, I’ve been spooked by guys who ask about ways to contact me outside dating apps within a day since we started communicating. No matter how fast you’ve hit it off, taking your convos outside the platform you’ve used to match with each other is a “next level” type of thing that needs a bit of time before it happens. After all, dating apps have chat features on their own and it already does the job well. Stay patient, and only ask for more contact info once you’ve actually made plans to meet IRL or make your relationship more serious.