What’s Love Got to Do With It?

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If you’ve come across someone saying things like naps, memes, or ChickenJoy is their love language, it’s because a certain Baptist pastor wrote a book in 1992 and introduced the concept to the world. Gary Chapman’s relationship advice book, “The 5 Love Languages,” was originally intended for married Christian couples, but his breakdown of the different love languages has gained traction with a secular audience, singles, families, and even in the workplace, decades after the book was released.

A quick online test at will help identify which languages you prioritize and which don’t do much for you. You’ll begin to realize from the questions alone that the way you express and perceive love may actually be different from the way your partner does—and that the key to avoiding miscommunication and handling conflict is knowing what your love language is, but more importantly, understanding theirs.

Acts of Service

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If this is your primary love language, this means you feel seen, appreciated, and loved when your partner does things that make your life easier, like cooking dinner or watching the kids so you can have a night out. If this is how your loved one feels loved, find ways to take on some of their responsibilities and you’ll be a rock star. Do the groceries, pick up her meds when she’s sick, or give him a haircut when he’s starting to look shaggy.

Quality Time

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When was the last time you spent any real undistracted time together? Speakers of this love language crave undivided attention and seek full presence. Clear out your day to go catch “Sonic the Hedgehog” at the movie theater and grab some milk tea afterwards while you listen to her expound on whether Sega or Nintendo won the console wars of the ‘90s.

Words of Affirmation

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More than just saying “I love you,” this love language is about articulating all the reasons why. Pay compliments when they dress up, give words of encouragement when they feel down, and voice out your support when they’re anxious or want to try something new.

Physical Touch

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You’re the kind of person who loves hugs, kisses, cuddles, and holding hands. You probably enjoy getting spa treatments, or simply going for a walk around the neighborhood arm-in-arm. Your relationship can still work out even if your partner is touch-averse, as long as you both understand what each other needs and try to give a little.

Receiving Gifts

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This language is not about materialism, but rather the thoughts and efforts behind the gift. When you bring home the right present from a trip, or have a knockout arrangement of her favorite flowers delivered to her office, it shows that you’ve been taking note of her likes and dislikes. Gifts are visual representations of your love.


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